Short and Sweet Tech Sayings

[CZawadzki]

"remember the old black guy!!"

we started saying this when a wierd old black guy in a electric chair came in where our line was rehearsing and we started playing corp clean. i dont know what he was doing but he started waiving his cane around and ran over a cymbal player. he then sped off into oncoming traffic, we never saw him again.

[itzbeats]

"you can't pour syrup on crap and call it pancakes!"
in reference to body work affecting the music

[padmadness]

"You know how to play the ditty?" "Yes!" "Cool, no one cares, go play eights."

[FatGocks]

"remember the old black guy!!"

we started saying this when a wierd old black guy in a electric chair came in where our line was rehearsing and we started playing corp clean. i dont know what he was doing but he started waiving his cane around and ran over a cymbal player. he then sped off into oncoming traffic, we never saw him again.

This is great.

[swstarks]

"Oh, dats money!"

On the rare occasion that we play somethin clean.

[nochops94]

"almost playing a roll clean is like almost making it to the bathroom. you almost made it, but you *beep* your pants."

[Andymac]

"almost playing a roll clean is like almost making it to the bathroom. you almost made it, but you *beep* your pants."

I'm going to use this one.

[spartey]

"It's easy to be good, but being great takes effort"
"Snares, tighten it up, everybody likes it tight"
After a dirty bass run "Oh good, my basses are drowning"
"The accents are just the icing, inner beats are the cake!"

[sxetnrdrmr]

After a dirty base run "Oh good, my basses are drowning"

THAT is hilarious. I am stealing that!

[Timartin]

figure it out

[flamtaps5]

Feel the beat.

Mark time!

You guys need to dut like a mofo.

That run sounded like a midget farting in a microphone.

That sounded like a bag of ass.

Clean that *beep* up snares.

Don't move at attention.

Stop *beep* moving! (throws stick)

[schorsquatch]

"That was a pretty good rep. Do it again so I can make sure it wasn't a mistake."
"Booyah"
"That line is as crooked as my grandma's teeth... and she's been dead for 15 years!"
"You are a fairly intelligent human being..."
"Lock it up" (that one actually got us in trouble)
"Holy *beep*, this is the bassline I've been waiting for!"
"This isn't rocket surgery."
(counting off, english becomes grunts), "one, dooo, unh, unh, unh-ugh-ungh! "
"Let it rip, Ry-Dog."
"Last time..." (nasty rep) "oops... do it again"

And my personal favorite, which I don't use as often as I should:

"Good job!"

[schorsquatch]

wait wut? I started this thread? LOL! Feels like a lifetime ago.

[NGPercussion]

Some from a former mentor band director:

“If I wanted to hear a band sound like that, I’d drive down the road 15 miles!”
“If that’s your best, your best isn’t good enough.”
“Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”
“Your soul may belong to God, but your body belongs to me.”
“I could drive a Mack truck through that interval!”
“That sounds like a Chinese overture: sucky, sucky!”
“Aim high or you’ll shoot yourself in the foot.”
“Well, that isn’t anything to write grandma about.”
“This section should make the mommas throw the babies off the balcony!”
“I’m not going to mention any names, but their initials are…*insert name*”
“That’s about as musical as kicking my dog.”
“Keep it simple, stupid.”
“You’re giving me that deer in the headlights look.”
“That note’s so sharp, I could shave with it.”
“If you’re on time, you’re late.”
“That’ll take the hair off your legs!”
“I’m gonna feed you guys raw hamburger!”
“I could drive two trucks through that hole!”
“That’s about as exciting as starting my lawnmower.”
“Your mom doesn’t work here.”
“You don’t have to be a suma kum laude to figure that out.”
“Are you gonna kiss that drum or play it?”
“There’s three things you have to do in life: pay taxes, die, and tap your foot (sell cheese and sausage)!”
*practicing for pep band before a basketball game with a rival school* “If you play that badly tonight, they’re gonna think they brought their band with ‘em!”
“Bad dog…baaaaaaaaad dog.”

“BECAUSE WHAT’S THE BEST BAND!?”

[gamertooth17]

"Basses! You sound like a herd of elephants!"
"Sounds like you guys are playing flams." (talking to snares/basses)
"LISTEN." or "LISTEN TO EACH OTHER."

[baigern]

Play through the ground so that hell starts complaining

[CoolInDenial]

"Trust in the T, dammit!" - referring to the "T" shaped fulcrum your thumb and index finger make when playing traditional
"Basses, you sound like shoes in a dryer right now"
"It should sound like you're swimming through caramel"
"Keep your head out of the water!" - as in, don't poke the drum with the bead of the stick
"When you drive a car, you don't drive 65mph into a stop sign and slam on the brakes right before you need to stop do you? You gotta slow down gradually. Same thing goes for dynamics. You have to get louder or softer gradually."
"That's soundin' hip, guys!" - whenever we played well, some variation of "hip" was always used in place of "good"
"You gotta REALLY HIT THE DRUM GIRL!!!" - he said this to me specifically, because my biggest issue is/was playing with confidence and playing through the head
"Come on, guys. You gotta rock out" - whenever we had a jam section or other visual moment
"Just play better" - usually his first comment when he realized something was off; then we'd play another rep and he'd tell us explicitly what we were doing wrong

My favorite was when the director told me I was dead inside because I didn't feel like the section we were playing was groovy enough for a head nod. For the record, I still don't think it was that groovy